


The Winter of our Discontent

by elissanerdwriter



Series: Arrows to the Heart [1]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Family Bonding, Gen, sort of canon compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-07
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-01-10 00:51:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12287769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elissanerdwriter/pseuds/elissanerdwriter
Summary: Now here Cassandra was, in her room to get dressed to do things she probably wasn’t supposed to be doing as the head of the Whitestone Council and things she didn’t really want to do anyway, for a woman who crossed her fingers behind her back while charming the gowns off nobility. She was starting to understand why her brother seemed willing to do anything the half-elf asked him. It was probably those eyebrows.





	1. I, That Am Not Shaped For Sportive Tricks

**Author's Note:**

> I really really like Cass and Vex's relationship and also dealing with all the bs that goes on together and also just the two of them in general, so of course they'd be the first ones I finish something for in this fandom that's been consuming my life for six months.
> 
> This is sort of canon compliant in that I think I understand what Cass's role in the Whitestone government is now, but I haven't reached the point where Vex gets titled yet, so I'm not sure what she's doing other than what's implied in the name. Also no clear time period for this section? Probably the year break, approximately.

Cassandra looked up warily from her books the first time Vex asked, one finger marking her place in the ledger. “You want to do what?”

Vex bounced gently on the balls of her feet, crossing her fingers just a second before her hand vanished behind her back. An odd, charming gesture, almost like her wink. “Hunting. We’re running a little low on meat and we’ve got so many people coming into the castle, I thought it would be wise to stock up a bit.” She leaned towards the other woman conspiratorially. “And besides, I’ve hardly gotten to know you and it seems… important.”

Cass thought it prudent not to mention that she knew exactly why the Grand Mistress of the Grey Hunt thought it important that they ‘get to know each other.’ Instead, she sighed, found a scrap of paper to mark her place, and closed the musty old tome with some relief. “If you think it wise, Lady Vex’ahlia, I imagine it must be so. When were you thinking? Sometime soon, I suppose?”

“I was thinking as soon as you can get changed,” the lady said, and Cass noted that she herself was already dressed in functional leggings and furs, though she thankfully didn’t have her bow or quiver on her yet. It had taken some time to dissuade the members of Vox Machina from carrying around their weapons everywhere they went in Whitestone, but it did something to calm Cassandra’s vague fears of an accidental-not-on-accident beheading by Grog Strongjaw’s greataxe. “Unless you’d rather go tomorrow morning, I guess.”

Despite her cool, poised air, Cassandra could almost feel the enthusiasm radiating from Vex. Standing, Cass smoothed her skirts and walked around the desk. “Well, we ought not to make our fine citizens wait. Give me half an hour and I’ll meet you in the courtyards. I trust you can make any other necessary arrangements in that time?”

Before she’d even finished speaking, Vex had thrown her arms around her. She must have felt Cassandra stiffen and inhale, but she just held the younger woman for a moment. As she released her, Vex said with hardly a change in tone, “Of course, darling. It’s hardly a problem.”

Well, naturally it wasn’t, since she didn’t actually think Vex was going to make any arrangements other than maybe picking up horses. She vanished down the hall and Cass followed at a slower pace, concern and what might have been panic rising in her chest.

The moment she’d realized that out of all his new companions, her brother had picked the archer to fall in love with, Cassandra had fallen into a tumultuous mess of feelings. On the one hand, Vex’ahlia was charming and genuine and sweet and she made Percival desperately, deliriously happy. And, of course, Cass couldn't help feeling charmed and slightly intimidated herself, which was a whole different set of… issues. On a very separate other hand, Cassandra wasn’t desperately, deliriously happy, and she was beginning to be very afraid she never would be. It would be unnatural for her not to be the slightest bit jealous. And she had a thing about arrows.

Now here she was, in her room to get dressed to do things she probably wasn’t supposed to be doing as the head of the Whitestone Council and things she didn’t really want to do anyway, for a woman who crossed her fingers behind her back while charming the gowns off nobility. She was starting to understand why her brother seemed willing to do anything the half-elf asked him. It was probably those eyebrows.

She paused when she was half undressed, catching sight of the pale, raised skin just under her left collarbone. After years and years of avoiding looking at the fucking things, she was very well trained at letting her gaze slide over them; she forced herself to run her cold fingertips over the scar, shivering. It was uneven and not nearly as warm as the surrounding skin, not nearly as sensitive. Well.

She blinked and snatched her hand away, yanking her dress all the way off before she could think too hard about that. Kicking the pile of embroidered fabric away, she picked up the other stack of clothes and got ready by the window, away from the mirror.

A little less than half an hour later– Cassandra was nothing if not prompt– she was standing in the courtyard in pants and a thick cloak, hands tucked under her arms. She’d resigned herself to this mistake, but that didn’t stop her from doubting every part of it– what if she accidentally shot Vex? What if she accidentally shot a horse? What if she shot herself, somehow? What if she got caught in the woods, by bandits or friends of the Briarwoods or her own staff? What if she shot one of her own staff? What if Vex betrayed her and she could do nothing? What if she was wearing the wrong clothes?

The last one was ridiculous enough to stop her in her tracks. She took a shuddering breath and forced her back straight, face composed, posture more familiar than slouching. She would be fine. At worst, she’d lose her calm and Vex would think slightly less of her for it, and she’d come back and go back to her recordkeeping. At best she’d overcome some of her (not exactly) irrational fear and come back with additional meat for the upcoming winter months and a stronger relationship with her informal sister-in-law (oops). For once, she couldn't lose.

Suddenly Vex was in front of her, holding the reins to two horses, one of whom had a quiver and two bows attached to the saddle. Cass greeted her and stared at the equipment for a moment, gauging her own reaction. Surprisingly, she didn’t feel any extra fear, just mild confusion as to the lack of a second quiver.

When she voiced this, Vex said frankly, “Have you ever shot a bow before, darling? I figured it would be better to start slow. It’s much easier if you don’t have a quiver to deal with in the beginning.”

“Is this going to be a recurring event, then?” Cass asked drily.

“If you want,” Vex said. “I’m not always in Whitestone, but when I am, I don't think it would be unfair of me to ask for a little sustainable hunting to be a part of your noble duties? You're better-versed on these policies than I am, darling. Unless it’s just my lack of charm?”

She was largely joking, but there was something in the flick of her smile and the dip of her voice under the endearment that made Cass think some part of it was a serious question. That begged the question of how much of her worry was leaking through, then. She clenched her teeth briefly as she brushed past Vex and swung herself up into the saddle of the second horse instead of answering. Rude, perhaps, but she was a bit occupied.

Vex followed suit and they clicked their tongues almost simultaneously, urging their mounts forward. As they were leaving the courtyard, Cass said, “You are a very charming lady, Vex’ahlia. I’m sure something can be arranged.”


	2. Nor made to court an amorous looking glass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As they rode, Vex talked about anything and everything, all with the same lilting, carefree tone. Cass couldn't get her voice to cooperate– she was never that good at familiar conversation anyways– but there it was again, that need to give the half-elf what she desired, innocent as conversing. It made one wonder if one could generate that same effect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're back! I finished this chapter ages ago and just sort of... forgot about it, but I'm finishing up the next (final?) chapter in this work and then we'll see if I can keep this train rolling to another work in this series. For now, enjoy some fun conflicting feelings and confused pining and general fluff. Wish me luck!

The sky was sharp and clear outside the castle walls. As they rode, Vex talked about her own brother, about the castle and its denizens, about birdcalls and tracks she noticed, anything and everything, all with the same lilting, carefree tone. For a minute or two, Cass couldn't get her voice to cooperate long enough for lengthy replies– she was never that good at familiar conversation anyways– but there it was again, that need to give the half-elf what she desired, innocent as conversing. It made one wonder if one could generate that same effect.

There was a warbler high up in the evergreens, its short melody floating down to them over and over. Vex sat up a little straighter in her saddle. “That’s a golden-crowned warbler! Percy heard one when we were near Westruun. He said it was probably as lost as he was, Whitestone nobility down so far south.”

Cass snorted indelicately, tipping her face up. “I’m shocked my brother knows what a bird is, given he never went outside for more than twenty minutes during his formative years. Besides, I don’t think he’d ever admit to being lost.”

“Oh, you’d be surprised. He’s very good at building himself up by cutting himself down, so to speak.”

“Believe me, I know. ‘Prove me wrong, I hate being right, nothing makes me happier than being incorrect?’ Please.”

Vex laughed, low and delighted, and warmth flooded Cassandra. This was easy. Easier than ledgers.

At some point, probably only a few minutes later, Vex’s dizzying trails of thought focused, like a telescope finding its mark. She still kept murmuring the names of birds as their trills reached them, but they were riding in almost silence. Gradually, the sounds of the woods surrounding them filtered into Cass’s thoughts– the gentle brushing of leaves and thudding of hooves, a chittering squirrel and that warbler (she couldn't not think of her brother, now, finding a piece of their home so far away). She looked over to see the arc of Vex's throat into her chin, tilted up to the canopy; her eyes were half-closed, lips parting as she smiled. Cass’s breath caught in her chest.

She realized Vex had slowed her horse just a moment too late and had to walk her own in a tight circle to line up with the half-elf. Vex swung herself to the ground, handing Cass the reins officiously. Cass hesitated for a moment before taking both sets and tying them to a low branch, then stood next to Vex as she unhooked the quiver and passed Cass a bow.

“Okay, okay. The basics. Which is your dominant hand?”

Cass raised her left hand a bit.

“Well, that will make things complicated. Here.”

Vex grabbed her right hand, arranging her fingers in the center of the bow. “Dominant hand pulls the string with three fingers, one over the arrow and two under. Oh, before I forget–” She pressed a leather glove into Cass’s hand, very similar to her own. “It might fit a bit oddly on your left hand, but we want to prevent you getting hurt as much as we can.”

Cass pulled the glove on quickly, smoothing it a bit to adjust the fit, then did her best to put her fingers back the same way Vex had placed them. “No promises, then?”

“I didn’t say that.” Vex brushed her braid over her shoulder as she settled behind Cass’s shoulders, one hand on each. “Do exactly as I say and you won’t get anything more than a few blisters and sore muscles.”

It wasn’t a difficult agreement to make by any means, but Cass’s chest was strangely tight. She murmured, “Of course, milady.”

Those lithe fingers squeezed before vanishing and the sounds of the forest started up again as Vex reached for an arrow. Cass rolled her shoulders and tried to breathe. “Wonderful. Tie your hair back and we’ll get started.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Kudos and comments are always appreciated, and you can find me on Tumblr @elissanerdwriter.


	3. No delight to pass away the time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Yes, milady. Did you have a good trip, then?”  
> And after all that lovely avoidance. Cass sighed and went to run her fingers through her hair before they caught on the tie. She pulled it out. “In a manner of speaking."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally finished! This chapter is much longer and a little more angsty. It doesn't exactly lead into the next work in the series, but they're connected. I might edit the next work somewhat to make the connections clearer.

Cass had to give it to Vex: there was something exhilarating and final about the thrumming bow in her hand as she released the string, the thud of the arrow hitting the tree thirty paces away. Vex was a patient teacher, checking over her stance and her hold before every shot. When she found a mistake, she told Cass instead of correcting it herself, and the whole thing started to feel more comfortable, more familiar. Cass hadn’t realized how nauseous she was until her stomach settled.

She managed to aim at and hit a branch jutting off a big, barren oak, and Vex actually cheered aloud. “That was amazing! You’re an absolute natural at this.”

Heat rose in Cass’s cheeks and she dropped her face under the pretense of tucking loose hair into her ponytail. “You’re just a fantastic teacher,” she said, waving Vex off very casually. “All my talents can easily be explained away by excellent teachers. My parents didn’t even have to pay for you.”

Vex was silent and for a breathless second Cass remembered what little her brother had told her and what more she had picked up about the childhood Vex and her brother had led. There, she’d done it, she’d pushed it too far. Back to chilled, frozen silence. The warmth had been nice while it lasted.

She raised her head again and Vex was studying her. Taken aback, Cass took a step away before catching herself and holding firm under her dark-eyed examination, made more intense by the dappled light on her brow and cheekbones. There was something in the half-elf’s gaze that Cass couldn’t quite figure out.

“Do you really believe that?”

“...What?”

“That all your talents were given to you by other people.”

Oh. It was pity in Vex’s eyes, but mixed with… confusion. “I– well, yes, of course. I don’t really have talents beyond a decent singing voice, the ability to play a few pieces on the piano very slowly, and a bit of negotiating skill. Oh, and I can get behind someone without their noticing and stab them in the back. All of which were taught to me by someone else. In which case…”

Vex cocked her head, leaning her bow on her hip. “That’s fascinating. I don’t think Percival would attribute any of his intellect to someone else’s teachings.”

A surprisingly sharp pang of irritation shot through Cass at the mention of her brother. “Well, he’s right. He skipped half his lessons to lock himself in his workshop, screwing around with bits of metal. He didn’t see the use in any of the things our parents wanted us to do. It just never occurred to me that there was anything else to do. And I knew I’d be eternally making a fool of myself if I didn’t learn some of what was expected of me. Though… I never thought I’d be…”

Vex’s eyebrows pulled together. She studied the ground by Cassandra’s boots for a second, then glanced at the sun overhead. “We should get back soon. Do you want to try for something… moving before we ride back?”

Something felt unfinished in that conversation, but Cass certainly didn’t have the courage to go digging for it. “If you think I’m suited to the challenge, milady.”

“I don’t have a doubt,” Vex said, and gestured for Cass to follow her as she crept through the brush.

It was probably ten minutes before they saw anything big enough to bother going after, and then it was more a large rabbit warming itself in the sun than a deer. Vex crouched down in the shadow of a massive fir, her body one lithe, practiced curve. Cass followed her closely, holding her bow off to the side awkwardly. Slowly, Vex reached out and wrapped her warm fingers around Cass’s wrist without looking; she almost startled away, but took the cue to bring the bow in front of her, carefully placing her fingers. Vex passed her an arrow and gently moved her little finger up. “Go.”

Her breath brushed across Cass’s ear, sending a shiver down her spine. She was… unexpectedly close. Cass shook her head and adjusted the angle of the bow slightly.

The rabbit had gone very still. Before Cass could release the arrow, it bolted, scrambling for the cover of the brambles. “Shit!” Cass yelled, twisting to follow it and letting go of the string.

A blazing pain slashed across the left side of her face. She fell hard on her wrist, stunned, as her eye immediately teared up and blurred everything before her further.

To her surprise, the first thing she heard as her ears stopped ringing was Vex giving stifled snorts of laughter beside her. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, it’s really not that funny, shit, are you alright?”

Cass gingerly reached up to touch the welt forming on her face. “Lesson learned, I think,” she mumbled.

“Okay, well, now it’s definitely time to head back.” Vex pushed up from the needle-covered ground and held out her hand. Cass took it and stood. The second she let go, the sky spun around to rest beside her and her shoulder hit the trunk of the tree, hard. “Shit! That complicates things, doesn’t it. Do you think you can ride back by yourself?”

Blinking painfully, Cass righted herself and took a few steps before Vex gasped, “Watch out!”

A branch bounced gently off of her forehead and she lost her balance again. Vex’s voice was shaking with barely suppressed laughter as she said, “Can anyone hear me? Hello? Vax, Percy, anyone, I don’t know.”

“What are you doing?” Cass asked as she sat down carefully so as not to cause any further damage.

“I can ride you back on my horse with me, but I don’t want to leave the other one out here alone. I suppose I could just send someone out here after we get back– oh, Vax, Vax, we need you outside the city–”

While Vex organized her rescue mission, Cass sat back on her hands and stared up through the tree’s branches, one eye closed. Until she’d screwed up, the whole endeavor had been strangely cathartic. Of course, relaxing her mental guard always brought the fear of nightmares and other horrors, but she felt… calm. Whether it was the archery or just Vex, she couldn’t possibly know, but she could certainly guess.

She turned her good eye to Vex, the corners of her mouth pulling up. The half-elf was strapping the quiver back onto her saddle, one hand still touching her earring, but she almost immediately caught Cass looking and winked. Cass’s mouth split into a grin, sending a shock of pain up through her face. “Ah. Ow.”

Vex tugged one last buckle, patted the horse’s flank, and said, “Thank you, Vax. Hurry before it’s dark.” She settled gracefully next to Cass, twisting her braid across her fingers. “How’s your face, then?”

“Oh, you know. It stings a bit. Not as bad as shot by an arrow, but still.” Cass ran a finger up the side of her nose to catch the tears. “I’m more irritated that I can hardly see than pained at this point.”

“Gods, I’m sorry!” Vex said suddenly. “I haven’t used any of my spells today. I could’ve been healing you all along.” With the pad of one finger, she traced the long welt, murmuring words that sounded elvish. Cass shivered as the burning pain numbed and her sight mostly cleared. “Well. You’ll just have to pretend you’re more hurt than you are for Vax’s sake. Or we could rig up a trap and pretend it was all an elaborate joke. Or we could say I just forgot I have any magical talent, which he might see as a joke. Whose pride do we want to leave in tatters today?”

Cass laughed softly. “I’ll be fine to play hurt. I’ve got hardly any pride, in any case.”

“And you’ve still managed to generously drag us into the dirt for our egos. Fair enough on me for bringing it up, I suppose.”

“No! Not at all, not at all.” A new flush was rising in her cheeks, but Vex probably couldn’t see it in the gathering dark. “Though while we’re on the topic, I can’t help being intrigued by the two of you. My relationship with my brother– and all my other siblings, I suppose– was very different.”

Vex’s eyebrow rose slowly. “Well, I’m not sure what there is to tell. It was just the two of us for a long time, or at least it felt that way. We split up for a while, and it… was very difficult for me, and I know it was for him. We’re meant to spend our lives together, in some sense, and I know that.”

It had taken her months after Whitestone fell to get vaguely accustomed to the silence. The Briarwoods were nearly silent in their movements through the castle, and her family was just too big to be quiet. Sometimes Cass had dreams that she was running through the castle hallways in her cold bare feet, hearing conversation and laughter and footsteps and the clatter of pans, but she could never find the source. The whole time she’d feel the deep bloody draw of the dungeons and she’d run and run until she found herself at the stairway, a child’s giggling in her ears, and she knew what she’d find down there. She never reached the bottom, but she always woke up tangled in her sheets.

She’d thought her parents would be there forever, or at least her siblings would. She never thought these responsibilities would rest on her. Her chest ached so badly.

“Cass? Cassandra! Are you alright? Cass!”

She snapped to alertness to find Vex shaking her, both hands on her shoulders, and almost fell backwards trying to get away. Her eyes were burning, and what was left of the wound smarted– ah yes, tears would do that. That was odd, she hadn’t cried in a while. Vex was studying her closely. Right. Damn half-elf dark vision. And she was crying pretty loudly.

“I’m sorry, Cass. I can tell my brother to go back, if you want. Or, I don’t know… he’s better at this kind of thing than I am. You could talk to him?”

Cass had to take a few desperate gasps to be able to talk. “No, no, I’m fine– well, that’s not true, but… don’t worry.”

Vex bit her lip, worrying at it. “Forgive me if it’s a little late for that.”

“I know, I know. I just mean to say… I need this. Thank you so much, Vex.”

Before she really knew what she was going to do, Cass fell on Vex, wrapping her arms around her. Vex instinctually returned the hug, then seemed to fully comprehend what was happening and shifted their positions, letting Cass curl more into her. Quickly, Cass wiped her nose on her sleeve, trying not to let it bother her for once. She was shivering from the approaching night chill, but Vex’s arms were warm around her. Cassandra felt…  _ safe _ .

 

When they finally got back, Vax riding behind them on Vex’s horse and Vex guiding her own, Cass stumbled back to her room without a word. Vex watched her go and didn’t ask anything more, but Cass saw the smile on her face.

“Lady Cassandra! Are you alright?”

The voice was unfamiliar, but with all the new staff who were being brought in to care for the castle, it was rare that Cass recognized anyone. “Yes, yes, of course. If you could inform any guests that I will be dining alone tonight and make those arrangements, that would be… wonderful.”

The woman hesitated. “Of course, milady. Should I send someone to assist you in undressing?”

Cass raised her hand to wave her off, but her muscles immediately protested. “Yes, please. And if a hot bath could be prepared…”

“Yes, milady. Did you have a good trip, then?”

And after all that lovely avoidance. Cass sighed and went to run her fingers through her hair before they caught on the tie. She pulled it out. “In a manner of speaking. If anyone desperately needs to speak to me, tell them I’ll be in my room. If it’s not an emergency, it can wait until morning.”

Thankfully, everyone left her alone until there was a knock at her door. When she answered it, a girl perhaps only a touch younger than her with long, loose brown hair (another new one) was standing there with a tray balanced on a thick towel. Eyes widening at the sight of Cass, she tried to curtsy and almost lost her balance. Cass grabbed her elbow, stabilizing her. “Oh, hello. Please come in.”

“Thank you, milady.” She came in, setting the tray on the table and laying the towel on the bed. “I can conduct you to your bath when you’re ready.”

“Now would be fantastic,” Cass said tiredly.

She felt much, much better when the heat and water had soothed her muscles and knocked off what dirt there was. When Cass had pulled on her dressing gown, she turned to find the girl about to vanish through the door. “Sorry, I don’t think I caught your name?”

The girl’s ears flushed slightly and she tugged at her hair. “Oh, my apologies. I’m Ruth. I’m new. Milady.”

Cass laughed softly, wringing her hair out over the tub once more. “Yes, I know. Thank you, Ruth.”

Her family was almost entirely gone. But between her brother and his Vox Machina, and the other people of Whitestone… maybe she could forge a new one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it! Kudos and comments are always appreciated, and you can find me on Tumblr @elissanerdwriter.

**Author's Note:**

> This specific story will be broken into chapters so I can make myself post something (if you think I'm above titling things with Shakespeare quotes then ding dong you are wrong), but it's in a series because I have other Cass & Vex stories with different ratings and settings, so I figured this would be the easiest way to keep things organized and yet... contained. 
> 
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated, and you can find me on tumblr @elissanerdwriter!


End file.
